How Do Maya Angelou and Grace Nichols Communicate What It Means to Be a Black Woman in Todays Society Essay Example for Free

How Do Maya Angelou and Grace Nichols Communicate What It Means to Be a Black Woman in Todays Society Essay How do Maya Angelou and Grace Nichols communicate what it means to be a black woman in today’s society? In this essay I will compare two poems. The two poems I will compare is Maya Angelou’s ‘Still I rise’ to Grace Nichols’ ‘Of course when they ask for poems about the ‘realities’ of Black women’. I think Maya Angelou’s ‘Still in rise’ has a rather different message to Grace Nichols’ poem. I think they are interesting to compare because Maya Angelo is lively and spirited about writing a poem about how strong black women are and how it is to be a black woman in today’s society. Whereas, Grace Nichols is more disgruntled and irritated about writing her poem. The first poem I will scrutinize is Maya Angelo’s ‘Still I rise’. The title ‘Still I rise’ shows strength and optimism as it is a short but strong meaning title. It means that Maya Angelou will always defend herself. It makes you feel no matter what you do to Maya Angelou she will just get back up again. This makes you believe that Maya Angelou is a strong person. In the first verse, Maya Angelou starts off using an accusatory tone when she says ‘you may write me down in history with you bitter, twisted lies’. This gives the impression that she is talking to white people when she says this. I think this means she doesn’t like what white people have wrote in their history books about black people’s past as it is over exaggerated and a lot of lies. Near the end of the first verse, she uses the simile ‘but still like dust, I’ll rise’. This is once again reinforcing the idea that she is a strong black woman. By using this simile she is also comparing herself and her race to dust and this suggests that you can’t get rid of black people and that they are everywhere you go, as dust is hard to get rid of and it is everywhere as you can’t control or capture it. In the second verse, Maya Angelou is more lively and spirited when she says ‘Does my sassiness upset you? ’ This suggests that she is getting more confident as she progresses through the poem. She also uses two rhetorical questions to grip the reader’s attention ‘why are you beset with gloom? Also, in the second verse she shows more confidence when she uses the phrase ‘‘cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells pumping in my living room. ’ The use of informal language ‘cause’ shows this. This phrase also makes me think that she feels powerful, rich and important. In the third stanza, she uses a lot of similes such as ‘Just like moons and like suns’ I think she has put this simile in because it is natural imagery and she wants black people to be described as this because it is not only a part of nature but the sun and moon are beautiful; vital to the world. In the next line she continues with the natural imagery by saying ‘With certainty of tides’. This is also natural imagery as she is comparing the black race with tides. I think she chose to use the natural imagery of tides here because not only is it once again vital to the world but it also creates a sense of power as tides and waves are incontrollable, powerful and constant and waves always come back so I think maybe she was also trying to reinforce the idea that she and her race are strong. However in the fourth verse, she stops using natural imagery and changes into an interrogative mode when she says ‘did you want to see me broken? Bowed head and lowered eyes? ’ Here she uses negative lexis such as ‘broken’ to create an image of a typical slave to the reader. I think she does this here as she wants to show people that herself and her race are not slaves and that you should not dwell on their past and think of them as slaves. In the fifth stanza, it’s more about her culture when she uses the simile ‘cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines’ I think she is implying here that she is not rich in wealth but she is rich in culture and in spirit. I think this changes the atmosphere to a more relaxed mood as she is embracing her culture. Also, when she says ‘diggin in my own back yard’ it gives you a sense of black soulful language and reinforces the fact that she embraces her culture and language. However, in stanza six, it is a more harsh verse as she uses an accusatory tone once again. She creates an atmosphere of fury and annoyance by using onomatopoeia and harsh sounds such as ‘cut’ and ‘kill’. I think this was put in so people would remember the way white people treated slaves and how violent they were towards them. I think she is trying to give an insight of how it must have felt to be a slave and make people feel guilty for treating them so unfairly. At the end of this verse, she repeats herself ‘But still, like air, I’ll rise’. I think she does this to not only make people believe she is a strong, black woman, but to also make the poem memorable for the reader and make it stand out. Also, when she uses the simile ‘like air’ it makes you think that you can’t hurt her because she is ‘like air’ and you can’t cut or hurt air. I think air was a good simile to use here because air rises and I think Angelou was implying that she will rise above all expectations people have for her, black women and black men. Also, by using the word air Maya Angelou is trying to indicate that herself and the black race are now free as black people are now free from slavery. In the seventh stanza, the atmosphere changes and you can see Angelou’s pride in her culture and race. I think Maya Angelou is trying to create a different image for black women as she says ‘does my sexiness up set you? . This suggests that she is trying to make a new image for black women that is sexy and more elegant because before they were seen as only slaves. In the third and fourth line of this verse, she says ‘that I dance like I’ve got diamonds, at the meeting of my thighs’. By using the word diamond she is implying that black women are rare, precious and tough as those are the main characteristics of a diamond. I t hink she is suggesting black women should be treasured and kept safe as they are too precious to lose. In the last stanza, Angelou breaks free from the previous set structure of the quatrains and it’s a more symbolic structure; it does not have a pattern to it. I think this is because it is supposed to imitate the slaves breaking free. Also, it has a random lay out and I think this is reinforcing the idea that you can’t capture black people like slaves anymore and that black people shouldn’t be treated unfairly anymore. The last verse also has more energy to it as it speeds up more. I think this is because when black people broke free from slavery they were lively and more spirited and had more pride in their culture and race. Also, in the last verse, Angelou uses metaphors instead of similes now such as ‘I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide’. I think she changes from similes to metaphors in this verse because she has gained more confidence and pride. It has also become a more happier, lively verse again as she uses more positive lexis such as ‘daybreak’ and ‘wondrously clear’. This is because she is happy and proud of being black and wants black women and men to be perceived as happy and lively. She has not only broken free from the quatrains in this last verse, but she has also broken free from the AB rhyming sentences and is now using rhyming couplets as well as repetition of the words ‘I rise, I rise, I rise’ to show confidence, power and pride of what it means to be a black woman. Overall, throughout the whole of the poem, I believe that Maya Angelou was trying to change the perception of black women and make black women feel as confident and as proud as Angelou does of being black. Throughout the poem Angelou’s tone differs. As in the beginning, although she started with an accusatory tone, she went on and used positive lexis such as ‘hopes springing high’ this then changed from a interrogative mood to a more lively and spirited atmosphere. However, as the poem continues she starts to use negative lexis again and the interrogative mode re-appears making the poem seem more harsh to the reader, although, when you read on the poem ends in a more lively and happier tone as she uses more absolute phrases and starts to use metaphors rather than similes now; ‘I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide’. Angelou’s use of sound imagery is interesting as she makes the reader imagine not only pretty, natural images, but harsh, cruel images as well. For instance, ‘Just like moons and like suns’ and ‘Shoulders falling down like teardrops’. I think she does this so we all can see what she wants black people to be perceived as and also what black people used to be perceived as. Overall, I think Maya Angelou wrote this poem to change the perception of black women in today’s society. The second poem I will analyse is Grace Nichols ‘Of course when they ask for poems about the ‘realities’ of black women’. This is a poem with a slightly different message. Whereas, Maya Angelou’s poem was overall lively and spirited, Grace Nichols poem takes on a more sarcastic side of what it’s like to be a black woman, compared to a white woman, in today’s society and how she feels about being asked to write a poem on what it’s like to be a black woman. The heading of Grace Nichols poem’ Of course when they ask for poems about the ‘realities’ of black women’ shows a sarcastic side as she has put realities in inverted commas. This gives you the impression that she doesn’t want to write this poem as black women are no different from white women or any other race. The first verse of the poem starts with ‘what they really want at times is a specimen whose heart is in the dust’. When she uses the word they in the beginning I think she is talking about white people, racists and those that misunderstand her race. Also, when she says the word specimen it makes you think of a different species; something that needs to be studied. I think this is what she feels racists think of the black race. When she refers to ‘whose heart is in the dust’ this makes the reader believe she thinks people pity her race. When she says ‘a mother-of-sufferer’ she is referring to ancestors of slaves and this then links to ‘trampled/oppressed’ which is the typical slave image. She’s is saying here that ‘they’, meaning white people or people that misunderstand her race, want a slave to write a poem about how it is to be a black person living in today’s society. Grace Nichols then moves on and says ‘they want a little black blood undressed and validation for the abused stereotype already in their heads’. This means that racists want a black, vulnerable person to be proof for the typical slave image, that’s a black stereotype, in their minds. When she says ‘black blood’ she is implying that black people are completely different to any other race and even have different blood, even though black people are no different from white people. She is also implying, when she says ‘For the abused stereotype already in their head’, that the stereotype has been put into people’s heads by white, biased history books. When she says, in the next verse, ‘a perfect song’ she is referring to someone that is proud of their race and would like to write a poem about being black, for example Maya Angelou. Within the next few lines, Grace Nichols talks more about how not all black women are the same and how they can’t be categorised. When she says’ I say I can write no poem big enough to hold the essence’. This means she can’t write one poem for black people or any other race as there are too many personalities and individuals to put them all into one category. When she says ‘of a black woman or a white woman or a green woman’ she is then showing her sarcasm again when she says ‘green woman’ as you can’t have green women and what she is trying to say is that we are all equal . ‘And there are Black women and Black women’ this is once again reinforcing the idea that there is not just ‘the’ black woman. There are different types of black women and they are not all the same and are individuals. In the next line she uses a very good simile when she says ‘like a contrasting sky of rainbow spectrum’. I love this simile as she is saying that there isn’t only one colour black and that when you put all the different colours together it makes something beautiful, such as a rainbow. She is also using natural imagery here and it makes you think of how special black people are to this world. As you go on in the poem, she uses the well known phrase ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’ very well as she says ‘touch a black woman you mistake for a rock and feel her melting down to fudge’. I think this is implying the phrase ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’ as it is saying if you insult a black woman when you think she has ‘thick skin’ she could really be vulnerable inside. In her poem, she does not only talk about different types of people and race, but she also introduces the fact of the different types of language. ‘If need be we’ll trade a piece-a-pussy’. Here she uses her own language of Creole and mixes Caribbean English with English to create a sense of her own Caribbean culture and how proud she is to be black and have her own, unique culture. Also, during her poem, Grace Nichols refers to some famous black women as she says ‘and there are black women so dangerous in South Africa they prison them away’. Here she is talking about Winnie Mandela, Nelson Mandela’s wife. She also refers to Maya Angelou throughout her poem as she says’ and there are black women strong and eloquent and focused’. Here she talks about Maya Angelou and how proud she is of her race. However, at the end of the poem, she ends on a positive note as she says’ the twisted self-negating history we’ve inherited’. I think this means even though they see their history as twisted and cruel, she wants black people to focus on the present and make their history better than that of the ancestors that were slaves. She also says ‘crushing out with each dancing step’. This shows me that she wants to crush out their past history and therefore ends on a positive note. Overall, throughout the poem, I think Grace Nichols was trying to make black women proud of their culture and race and that they are no more different than white people or any other race. I think Grace Nichols didn’t have a set structure for the poem as it is sporadic and a random layout. I think she did this because there is not a set pattern for black women and that the layout represents this. Also, the layout is random and unique and that’s what she wants black women to be perceived as instead as being in a set pattern and categorised. Grace Nichols repeats several thing throughout her poem. ‘of a black woman or a white woman or a green woman’ is repeated a lot to emphasize the point that all races are equal and it doesn’t depend on colour for how we are treated. She also repeats the phrase ‘crushing out with each dancing step’ to make her point that you shouldn’t judge people by their past and that you should forget about you and your ancestors history and create new history. I think Grace Nichols used Creole to emphasize how she is proud of her culture and that black women should be proud as well and celebrate their own culture. I think these poems differ in messages and tones as Maya Angelou’s poem ‘still I rise’ her message is that black women should be proud about their culture and to be black and that Maya Angelou wants to change the perception of black women so that it is not the typical lave image but it is more sexy and elegant. Also, I think Maya Angelou was lively and spirited throughout most of her poem, although she had some accusatory tone and interrogative mode. However, Grace Nichols’s message was different from Maya Angelou’s as Grace Nichols wanted black women to be treated fairly and equally as any other race are and that she doesn’t think its right to define black women all in one category. Also, she didn’t think it was right to be asked to write a poem about how black women feel living in today’s society as it is no different from any other race woman. Grace Nichols’s tone throughout was mainly accusatory and angry. In some ways the two poems are similar as they both feel that their race should not be treated as slave just because some of their ancestors were in captivity as slaves in past history. Also, they both feel that their race should now think about the present and not focus on the past and believe you should forget about slavery and the past. They both also want black people to celebrate their culture. I think Grace Nichols’s poem portrays the black race better as Maya Angelou categorises the black race even though they are all individuals and can’t be put into just one category. Whereas, Grace Nichols says all the way through her poem that black people are individuals and all unique and you can’t categorise them. Also, I think Grace Nichols write not just about the good things about being a black woman, but she also write about the bad things, whereas, Maya Angelou doesn’t.

La Curacion Plena :: Spanish Essays

La Curacion Plena Tres Fuentes Citadas  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚   "Una noche me sentà ­ deprimida y con deseos de suicidio otra vez; sin embargo a pesar de estos sentimientos, tambià ©n de alguna manera sentà ­ una profunda confianza en Dios. No quise que los nià ±os me vieran llorar asà ­ que despuà ©s de acostarles, me encerrà © en el cuarto de baà ±o, me acurruquà © en el suelo, y repetà ­ una y otra vez: "Jesà ºs, confà ­o en Ti". No sà © cuà ¡ntas horas estuve asà ­, pero bien entrada la noche tuve una experiencia que cambià ³ mi vida. Sentà ­ que estaba en la cruz con Jesucristo pero que en lugar de sentir sufrimiento, sentà ­a un amor tan intenso que era capaz de apagar ese dolor. Sentà ­ como Su amor borraba mi pecado y supe entonces que mi curacià ³n era plena. Desde ese momento nunca mà ¡s he vuelto a sentir la desesperacià ³n del aborto, à ºnicamente el amor profundo y el perdà ³n que recibà ­ de Jesucristo. He visto cà ³mo mi vida ha cambiado milagrosamente, cà ³mo he tenido el privilegio de ayudar a infinidad de mujeres y hombres que sufren de las consecuencias del aborto. El amor de Jesucristo no sà ³lo ha transformado mi vida sino tambià ©n la vida de aquellos a los que amo." (Bonopartis) Las consecuencias de un aborto:    MUERTE: "Me siento muerta, muerta, muerta por dentro". "Cuando salà ­ de la clà ­nica, dejà © parte de mi corazà ³n allà ­ tambien". "Me debà ­a haber muerto con el bebà ©". "Siento que quiero morirme por dentro". "Siento que nunca debà ­a haber nacido, y muchas veces quisiera morirme". "Quisiera ser yo la muerta y no mi bebà ©". "Querà ­a morirme con mi hijo". "Cuando te separaron de mi... me quitaron un pedazo de mi alma y de mi corazà ³n que nunca podrà ¡ ser reemplazado". "Parte de mà ­ murià ³ el dà ­a que me separaron de ti". "No querà ­a ir, pero estaba demasiado cansada para pelear, ni siquiera podà ­a pensar. Dejà © de sentir. No era mi verdadero yo ese dà ­a, era otra persona. Ya no sà © dà ³nde està ¡ ese yo mà ­o. Creo que murià ³ ese dà ­a". "Siento que no valgo nada, que quisiera morirme para escapar el dolor y la culpabilidad..." NO PUEDO LAMENTARME/OTROS NO ENTIENDEN: "Sentà ­ que algo andaba mal conmigo por sentirme tan afectada por mi aborto como lo estaba", "Durante largo tiempo no podà ­a hablarle a nadie sobre eso y si lo hacà ­a todos estaban de acuerdo que yo no habà ­a hecho nada malo.

The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun 3. Phenomenon

Truly, I was not thirsty, but I decided to hunt again that night. A small ounce of prevention, inadequate though I knew it to be. Carlisle came with me; we hadn't been alone together since I'd returned from Denali. As we ran through the black forest, I heard him thinking about that hasty goodbye last week. In his memory, I saw the way my features had been twisted in fierce despair. I felt his surprise and sudden worry. â€Å"Edward?† â€Å"I have to go, Carlisle. I have to go now.† â€Å"What's happened?† â€Å"Nothing. Yet. But it will, if I stay.† He'd reached for my arm. I felt how it had hurt him when I'd cringed away from his hand. â€Å"I don't understand.† â€Å"Have you ever†¦has there ever been a time†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I watched myself take a deep breath, saw the wild light in my eyes through the filter of his deep concern. â€Å"Has any one person ever smelled better to you than the rest of them? Much better?† â€Å"Oh.† When I'd known that he understood, my face had fallen with shame. He'd reached out to touch me, ignoring it when I'd recoiled again, and left his hand on my shoulder. â€Å"Do what you must to resist, son. I will miss you. Here, take my car. It's faster.† He was wondering now if he'd done the right thing then, sending me away. Wondering if he hadn't hurt me with his lack of trust. â€Å"No,† I whispered as I ran. â€Å"That was what I needed. I might so easily have betrayed that trust, if you'd told me to stay.† â€Å"I'm sorry you're suffering, Edward. But you should do what you can to keep the Swan child alive. Even if it means that you must leave us again.† â€Å"I know, I know.† â€Å"Why did you come back? You know how happy I am to have you here, but if this is too difficult†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"I didn't like feeling a coward,† I admitted. We'd slowed – we were barely jogging through the darkness now. â€Å"Better that than to put her in danger. She'll be gone in a year or two.† â€Å"You're right, I know that.† Contrarily, though, his words only made me more anxious to stay. The girl would be gone in a year or two†¦ Carlisle stopped running and I stopped with him; he turned to examine my expression. But you're not going to run, are you? I hung my head. Is it pride, Edward? There's no shame in – â€Å"No, it isn't pride that keeps me here. Not now.† Nowhere to go? I laughed shortly. â€Å"No. That wouldn't stop me, if I could make myself leave.† â€Å"We'll come with you, of course, if that's what you need. You only have to ask. You've moved on without complaint for the rest of them. They won't begrudge you this.† I raised one eyebrow. He laughed. â€Å"Yes, Rosalie might, but she owes you. Anyway, it's much better for us to leave now, no damage done, than for us to leave later, after a life has been ended.† All humor was gone by the end. I flinched at his words. â€Å"Yes,† I agreed. My voice sounded hoarse. But you're not leaving? I sighed. â€Å"I should.† â€Å"What holds you here, Edward? I'm failing to see†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"I don't know if I can explain.† Even to myself, it made no sense. He measured my expression for a long moment. No, I do not see. But I will respect your privacy, if you prefer. â€Å"Thank you. It's generous of you, seeing as how I give privacy to no one.† With one exception. And I was doing what I could to deprive her of that, wasn't I? We all have our quirks. He laughed again. Shall we? He'd just caught the scent of a small herd of deer. It was hard to rally much enthusiasm for what was, even under the best of circumstances, a less than mouthwatering aroma. Right now, with the memory of the girl's blood fresh in my mind, the smell actually turned my stomach. I sighed. â€Å"Let's,† I agreed, though I knew that forcing more blood down my throat would help so little. We both shifted into a hunting crouch and let the unappealing scent pull us silently forward. It was colder when we returned home. The melted snow had refrozen; it was as if a thin sheet of glass covered everything – each pine needle, each fern frond, each blade of grass was iced over. While Carlisle went to dress for his early shift at the hospital, I stayed by the river, waiting for the sun to rise. I felt almost swollen from the amount of blood I'd consumed, but I knew the lack of actual thirst would mean little when I sat beside the girl again. Cool and motionless as the stone I sat on, I stared at the dark water running beside the icy bank, stared right through it. Carlisle was right. I should leave Forks. They could spread some story to explain my absence. Boarding school in Europe. Visiting distant relatives. Teenage runaway. The story didn't matter. No one would question too intensely. It was just a year or two, and then the girl would disappear. She would go on with her life – she would have a life to go on with. She'd go to college somewhere, get older, start a career, perhaps marry someone. I could picture that – I could see the girl dressed all in white and walking at a measured pace, her arm through her father's. It was odd, the pain that image caused me. I couldn't understand it. Was I jealous, because she had a future that I could never have? That made no sense. Every one of the humans around me had that same potential ahead of them – a life – and I rarely stopped to envy them. I should leave her to her future. Stop risking her life. That was the right thing to do. Carlisle always chose the right way. I should listen to him now. The sun rose behind the clouds, and the faint light glistened off all the frozen glass. One more day, I decided. I would see her one more time. I could handle that. Perhaps I would mention my pending disappearance, set the story up. This was going to be difficult; I could feel that in the heavy reluctance that was already making me think of excuses to stay – to extend the deadline to two days, three, four†¦ But I would do the right thing. I knew I could trust Carlisle's advice. And I also knew that I was too conflicted to make the right decision alone. Much too conflicted. How much of this reluctance came from my obsessive curiosity, and how much came from my unsatisfied appetite? I went inside to change into fresh clothes for school. Alice was waiting for me, sitting on the top step at the edge of the third floor. You're leaving again, she accused me. I sighed and nodded. I can't see where you're going this time. â€Å"I don't know where I'm going yet,† I whispered. I want you to stay. I shook my head. Maybe Jazz and I could come with you? â€Å"They'll need you all the more, if I'm not here to watch out for them. And think of Esme. Would you take half her family away in one blow?† You're going to make her so sad. â€Å"I know. That's why you have to stay.† That's not the same as having you here, and you know it. â€Å"Yes. But I have to do what's right.† There are many right ways, and many wrong ways, though, aren't there? For a brief moment she was swept away into one of her strange visions; I watched along with her as the indistinct images flickered and whirled. I saw myself mixed in with strange shadows that I couldn't make out – hazy, imprecise forms. And then, suddenly, my skin was glittering in the bright sunlight of a small open meadow. This was a place I knew. There was a figure in the meadow with me, but, again, it was indistinct, not there enough to recognize. The images shivered and disappeared as a million tiny choices rearranged the future again. â€Å"I didn't catch much of that,† I told her when the vision went dark. Me either. Your future is shifting around so much I can't keep up with any of it. I think, though†¦ She stopped, and she flipped through a vast collection of other recent visions for me. They were all the same – blurry and vague. â€Å"I think something is changing, though,† she said out loud. â€Å"Your life seems to be at a crossroads.† I laughed grimly. â€Å"You do realize that you sound like a bogus gypsy at a carnival now, right?† She stuck her tiny tongue out at me. â€Å"Today is all right, though, isn't it?† I asked, my voice abruptly apprehensive. â€Å"I don't see you killing anyone today,† she assured me. â€Å"Thanks, Alice.† â€Å"Go get dressed. I won't say anything – I'll let you tell the others when you're ready.† She stood and darted back down the stairs, her shoulders hunched slightly. Miss you. Really. Yes, I would really miss her, too. It was a quiet ride to school. Jasper could tell that Alice was upset about something, but he knew that if she wanted to talk about it she would have done so already. Emmett and Rosalie were oblivious, having another of their moments, gazing into each others' eyes with wonder – it was rather disgusting to watch from the outside. We were all quite aware how desperately in love they were. Or maybe I was just being bitter because I was the only one alone. Some days it was harder than others to live with three sets of perfectly matched lovers. This was one of them. Maybe they would all be happier without me hanging around, ill-tempered and belligerent as the old man I should be by now. Of course, the first thing I did when we reached the school was to look for the girl. Just preparing myself again. Right. It was embarrassing how my world suddenly seemed to be empty of everything but her – my whole existence centered around the girl, rather than around myself anymore. It was easy enough to understand, though, really; after eighty years of the same thing every day and every night, any change became a point of absorption. She had not yet arrived, but could I hear the thunderous chugging of her truck's engine in the distance. I leaned against the side of the car to wait. Alice stayed with me, while the others went straight to class. They were bored with my fixation – it was incomprehensible to them how any human could hold my interest for so long, no matter how delicious she smelled. The girl drove slowly into view, her eyes intent on the road and her hands tight on the wheel. She seemed anxious about something. It took me a second to figure out what that something was, to realize that every human wore the same expression today. Ah, the road was slick with ice, and they were all trying to drive more carefully. I could see she was taking the added risk seriously. That seemed in line with what little I had learned of her character. I added this to my small list: she was a serious person, a responsible person. She parked not too far from me, but she hadn't noticed me standing here yet, staring at her. I wondered what she would do when she did? Blush and walk away? That was my first guess. But maybe she would stare back. Maybe she would come to talk to me. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs hopefully, just in case. She got out of the truck with care, testing the slick ground before she put her weight on it. She didn't look up, and that frustrated me. Maybe I would go talk to her†¦ No, that would be wrong. Instead of turning toward the school, she made her way to the rear of her truck, clinging to the side of the truck bed in a droll way, not trusting her footing. It made me smile, and I felt Alice's eyes on my face. I didn't listen to whatever this made her think – I was having too much fun watching the girl check her snow chains. She actually looked in some danger of falling, the way her feet were sliding around. No one else was having trouble – had she parked in the worst of the ice? She paused there, staring down with a strange expression on her face. It was†¦tender? As if something about the tire was making her†¦emotional? Again, the curiosity ached like a thirst. It was as if I had to know what she was thinking – as if nothing else mattered. I would go talk to her. She looked like she could use a hand anyway, at least until she was off the slick pavement. Of course, I couldn't offer her that, could I? I hesitated, torn. As adverse as she seemed to be to snow, she would hardly welcome the touch of my cold white hand. I should have worn gloves – â€Å"NO!† Alice gasped aloud. Instantly, I scanned her thoughts, guessing at first that I had made a poor choice and she saw me doing something inexcusable. But it had nothing to do with me at all. Tyler Crowley had chosen to take the turn into the parking lot at an injudicious speed. This choice would send him skidding across a patch of ice†¦ The vision came just half a second before the reality. Tyler's van rounded the corner as I was still watching the conclusion that had pulled the horrified gasp through Alice's lips. No, this vision had nothing to do with me, and yet it had everything to do with me, because Tyler's van – the tires right now hitting the ice at the worst possible angle – was going to spin across the lot and crush the girl who had become the uninvited focal point of my world. Even without Alice's foresight it would have been simple enough to read the trajectory of the vehicle, flying out of Tyler's control. The girl, standing in the exactly wrong place at the back of her truck, looked up, bewildered by the sound of the screeching tires. She looked straight into my horrorstruck eyes, and then turned to watch her approaching death. Not her! The words shouted in my head as if they belonged to someone else. Still locked into Alice's thoughts, I saw the vision suddenly shift, but I had no time to see what the outcome would be. I launched myself across the lot, throwing myself between the skidding van and the frozen girl. I moved so fast that everything was a streaky blur except for the object of my focus. She didn't see me – no human eyes could have followed my flight – still staring at the hulking shape that was about to grind her body into the metal frame of her truck. I caught her around the waist, moving with too much urgency to be as gentle as she would need me to be. In the hundredth of a second between the time that I yanked her slight form out of the path of death and the time that I crashed into to the ground with her in my arms, I was vividly aware of her fragile, breakable body. When I heard her head crack against the ice, it felt like I had turned to ice, too. But I didn't even have a full second to ascertain her condition. I heard the van behind us, grating and squealing as it twisted around the sturdy iron body of the girl's truck. It was changing course, arcing, coming for her again – like she was a magnet, pulling it toward us. A word I'd never said before in the presence of a lady slid between my clenched teeth. I had already done too much. As I'd nearly flown through the air to push her out of the way, I'd been fully aware of the mistake I was making. Knowing that it was a mistake did not stop me, but I was not oblivious to the risk I was taking – taking, not just for myself, but for my entire family. Exposure. And this certainly wasn't going to help, but there was no way I was going to allow the van to succeed in its second attempt to take her life. I dropped her and threw my hands out, catching the van before it could touch the girl. The force of it hurled me back into the car parked beside her truck, and I could feel its frame buckle behind my shoulders. The van shuddered and shivered against the unyielding obstacle of my arms, and then swayed, balancing unstably on the two far tires. If I moved my hands, the back tire of the van was going fall onto her legs. Oh, for the love of all that was holy, would the catastrophes never end? Was there anything else that could go wrong? I could hardly sit here, holding the van in the air, and wait for rescue. Nor could I throw the van away – there was the driver to consider, his thoughts incoherent with panic. With an internal groan, I shoved the van so that it rocked away from us for an instant. As it fell back toward me, I caught it under the frame with my right hand while I wrapped my left arm around the girl's waist again and drug her out from under the van, pulling her tight up against my side. Her body moved limply as I swung her around so that her legs would be in the clear – was she conscious? How much damage had I done to her in my impromptu rescue attempt? I let the van drop, now that it could not hurt her. It crashed to the pavement, all the windows shattering in unison. I knew that I was in the middle of a crisis. How much had she seen? Had any other witnesses watched me materialize at her side and then juggle the van while I tried to keep her out from under it? These questions should be my biggest concern. But I was too anxious to really care about the threat of exposure as much as I should. Too panic-stricken that I might have injured her myself in my effort to protect her. Too frightened to have her this close to me, knowing what I would smell if I allowed myself to inhale. Too aware of the heat of her soft body, pressed against mine – even through the double obstacle of our jackets, I could feel that heat†¦ The first fear was the greatest fear. As the screaming of the witnesses erupted around us, I leaned down to examine her face, to see if she was conscious – hoping fiercely that she was not bleeding anywhere. Her eyes were open, staring in shock. â€Å"Bella?† I asked urgently. â€Å"Are you all right?† â€Å"I'm fine.† She said the words automatically in a dazed voice. Relief, so exquisite it was nearly pain, washed through me at the sound of her voice. I sucked in a breath through my teeth, and did not mind the accompanying burn in my throat. I almost welcomed it. She struggled to sit up, but I was not ready to release her. It felt somehow†¦safer? Better, at least, having her tucked into my side. â€Å"Be careful,† I warned her. â€Å"I think you hit your head pretty hard.† There had been no smell of fresh blood – a mercy, that – but this did not rule out internal damage. I was abruptly anxious to get her to Carlisle and a full compliment of radiology equipment. â€Å"Ow,† she said, her tone comically shocked as she realized I was right about her head. â€Å"That's what I thought.† Relief made it funny to me, made me almost giddy. â€Å"How in the†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Her voice trailed off, and her eyelids fluttered. â€Å"How did you get over here so fast?† The relief turned sour, the humor vanished. She had noticed too much. Now that it appeared that the girl was in decent shape, the anxiety for my family became severe. â€Å"I was standing right next to you, Bella.† I knew from experience that if I was very confident as I lied, it made any questioner less sure of the truth. She struggled to move again, and this time I allowed it. I needed to breathe so that I could play my role correctly. I needed space from her warm-blooded heat so that it would not combine with her scent to overwhelm me. I slid away from her, as far as was possible in the small space between the wrecked vehicles. She stared up at me, and I stared back. To look away first was a mistake only an incompetent liar would make, and I was not an incompetent liar. My expression was smooth, benign†¦ It seemed to confuse her. That was good. The accident scene was surrounded now. Mostly students, children, peering and pushing through the cracks to see if any mangled bodies were visible. There was a babble of shouting and a gush of shocked thought. I scanned the thoughts once to make sure there were no suspicions yet, and then tuned it out and concentrated only on the girl. She was distracted by the bedlam. She glanced around, her expression still stunned, and tried to get to her feet. I put my hand lightly on her shoulder to hold her down. â€Å"Just stay put for now.† She seemed alright, but should she really be moving her neck? Again, I wished for Carlisle. My years of theoretical medical study were no match for his centuries of hands-on medical practice. â€Å"But it's cold,† she objected. She had almost been crushed to death two distinct times and crippled one more, and it was the cold that worried her. A chuckle slid through my teeth before I could remember that the situation was not funny. Bella blinked, and then her eyes focused on my face. â€Å"You were over there.† That sobered me again. She glanced toward the south, though there was nothing to see now but the crumpled side of the van. â€Å"You were by your car.† â€Å"No, I wasn't.† â€Å"I saw you,† she insisted; her voice was childlike when she was being stubborn. Her chin jutted out. â€Å"Bella, I was standing with you, and I pulled you out of the way.† I stared deeply into her wide eyes, trying to will her into accepting my version – the only rational version on the table. Her jaw set. â€Å"No.† I tried to stay calm, to not panic. If only I could keep her quiet for a few moments, to give me a chance to destroy the evidence†¦.and undermine her story by disclosing her head injury. Shouldn't it be easy to keep this silent, secretive girl quiet? If only she would trust me, just for a few moments†¦ â€Å"Please, Bella,† I said, and my voice was too intense, because I suddenly wanted her to trust me. Wanted it badly, and not just in regards to this accident. A stupid desire. What sense would it make for her to trust me? â€Å"Why?† she asked, still defensive. â€Å"Trust me,† I pleaded. â€Å"Will you promise to explain everything to me later?† It made me angry to have to lie to her again, when I so much wished that I could somehow deserve her trust. So, when I answered her, it was a retort. â€Å"Fine.† â€Å"Fine,† she echoed in the same tone. While the rescue attempt began around us – adults arriving, authorities called, sirens in the distance – I tried to ignore the girl and get my priorities in the right order. I searched through every mind in the lot, the witnesses and the latecomers both, but I could find nothing dangerous. Many were surprised to see me here beside Bella, but all concluded – as there was no other possible conclusion – that they had just not noticed me standing by the girl before the accident. She was the only one who didn't accept the easy explanation, but she would be considered the least reliable witness. She had been frightened, traumatized, not to mention sustaining the blow to the head. Possibly in shock. It would be acceptable for her story to be confused, wouldn't it? No one would give it much credence above so many other spectators†¦ I winced when I caught the thoughts of Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett, just arriving on the scene. There would be hell to pay for this tonight. I wanted to iron out the indention my shoulders had made against the tan car, but the girl was too close. I'd have to wait till she was distracted. It was frustrating to wait – so many eyes on me – as the humans struggled with the van, trying to pull it away from us. I might have helped them, just to speed the process, but I was already in enough trouble and the girl had sharp eyes. Finally, they were able to shift it far enough away for the EMTs to get to us with their stretchers. A familiar, grizzled face appraised me. â€Å"Hey, Edward,† Brett Warner said. He was also a registered nurse, and I knew him well from the hospital. It was a stroke of luck – the only luck today – that he was the first through to us. In his thoughts, he was noting that I looked alert and calm. â€Å"You okay, kid?† â€Å"Perfect, Brett. Nothing touched me. But I'm afraid Bella here might have a concussion. She really hit her head when I yanked her out of the way†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Brett turned his attention to the girl, who shot me a fierce look of betrayal. Oh, that was right. She was the quiet martyr – she'd prefer to suffer in silence. She did not contradict my story immediately, though, and this made me feel easier. The next EMT tried to insist that I allow myself to be treated, but it wasn't too difficult to dissuade him. I promised I would let my father examine me, and he let it go. With most humans, speaking with cool assurance was all that was needed. Most humans, just not the girl, of course. Did she fit into any of the normal patterns? As they put a neck brace on her – and her face flushed scarlet with embarrassment – I used the moment of distraction to quietly rearrange the shape of the dent in the tan car with the back of my foot. Only my siblings noticed what I was doing, and I heard Emmett's mental promise to catch anything I missed. Grateful for his help – and more grateful that Emmett, at least, had already forgiven my dangerous choice – I was more relaxed as I climbed into the front seat of the ambulance next to Brett. The chief of police arrived before they had gotten Bella into the back of the ambulance. Though Bella's father's thoughts were past words, the panic and concern emanating out of the man's mind drown out just about every other thought in the vicinity. Wordless anxiety and guilt, a great swell of them, washed out of him as he saw his only daughter on the gurney. Washed out of him and through me, echoing and growing stronger. When Alice had warned me that killing Charlie Swan's daughter would kill him, too, she had not been exaggerating. My head bowed with that guilt as I listened to his panicked voice. â€Å"Bella!† he shouted. â€Å"I'm completely fine, Char – Dad.† She sighed. â€Å"There's nothing wrong with me.† Her assurance barely soothed his dread. He turned at once to the closest EMT and demanded more information. I wasn't until I heard him speaking, forming perfectly coherent sentences despite his panic, that I realized that his anxiety and concern were not wordless. I just†¦could not hear the exact words. Hmm. Charlie Swan was not as silent as his daughter, but I could see where she got it from. Interesting. I'd never spent much time around the town's police chief. I'd always taken him for a man of slow thought – now I realized that I was the one who was slow. His thoughts were partially concealed, not absent. I could only make out the tenor, the tone of them†¦ I wanted to listen harder, to see if I could find in this new, lesser puzzle the key to the girl's secrets. But Bella was loaded into the back by then, and the ambulance was on its way. It was hard to tear myself away from this possible solution to the mystery that had come to obsess me. But I had to think now – to look at what had been done today from every angle. I had to listen, to make sure that I had not put us all in so much danger that we would have to leave immediately. I had to concentrate. There was nothing in the thoughts of the EMTs to worry me. As far as they could tell, there was nothing seriously wrong with the girl. And Bella was sticking to the story I'd provided, thus far. The first priority, when we reached the hospital, was to see Carlisle. I hurried through the automatic doors, but I was unable to totally forgo watching after Bella; I kept an eye on her through the paramedics' thoughts. It was easy to find my father's familiar mind. He was in his small office, all alone – the second stroke of luck in this luckless day. â€Å"Carlisle.† He'd heard my approach, and he was alarmed as soon as he saw my face. He jumped to his feet, his face paling to bone white. He leaned forward across the neatly organized walnut desk. Edward – you didn't – â€Å"No, no, it's not that.† He took deep breath. Of course not. I'm sorry I entertained the thought. Your eyes, of course, I should have known†¦ He noted my still-golden eyes with relief. â€Å"She's hurt, though, Carlisle, probably not seriously, but – â€Å" â€Å"What happened?† â€Å"A stupid car accident. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. But I couldn't just stand there – let it crush her – â€Å" Start over, I don't understand. How were you involved? â€Å"A van skidded across the ice,† I whispered. I stared at the wall behind him while I spoke. Instead of a throng of framed diplomas, he had one simple oil painting – a favorite of his, an undiscovered Hassam. â€Å"She was in the way. Alice saw it coming, but there wasn't time to do anything but really run across the lot and shove her out of the way. No one noticed†¦except for her. I had to stop the van, too, but again, nobody saw that†¦besides her. I'm†¦I'm sorry Carlisle. I didn't mean to put us in danger.† He circled the desk and put his hand on my shoulder. You did the right thing. And it couldn't have been easy for you. I'm proud of you, Edward. I could look him in the eye then. â€Å"She knows there's something†¦wrong with me.† â€Å"That doesn't matter. If we have to leave, we leave. What has she said?† I shook my head, a little frustrated. â€Å"Nothing yet.† Yet? â€Å"She agreed to my version of events – but she's expecting an explanation.† He frowned, pondering this. â€Å"She hit her head – well, I did that,† I continued quickly. â€Å"I knocked her to the ground fairly hard. She seems fine, but†¦ I don't think it will take much to discredit her account.† I felt like a cad just saying the words. Carlisle heard the distaste in my voice. Perhaps that won't be necessary. Let's see what happens, shall we? It sounds like I have a patient to check on. â€Å"Please,† I said. â€Å"I'm so worried that I hurt her.† Carlisle's expression brightened. He smoothed his fair hair – just a few shades lighter than his golden eyes – and he laughed. It's been an interesting day for you, hasn't it? In his mind, I could see the irony, and it was humorous, at least to him. Quite the reversal of roles. Somewhere during that short thoughtless second when I'd sprinted across the icy lot, I had transformed from killer to protector. I laughed with him, remembering how sure I'd been that Bella would never need protecting from anything more than myself. There was an edge to my laugh because, van notwithstanding, that was still entirely true. I waited alone in Carlisle's office – one of the longer hours I had ever lived – listening to the hospital full of thoughts. Tyler Crowley, the van's driver, looked to be hurt worse than Bella, and the attention shifted to him while she waited her turn to be X-rayed. Carlisle kept in the background, trusting the PA's diagnosis that the girl was only slightly injured. This made me anxious, but I knew he was right. One glance at his face and she would be immediately reminded of me, of the fact that there was something not right about my family, and that might set her talking. She certainly had a willing enough partner to converse with. Tyler was consumed with guilt over the fact that he had almost killed her, and he couldn't seem to shut up about it. I could see her expression through his eyes, and it was clear that she wished he would stop. How did he not see that? There was a tense moment for me when Tyler asked her how she'd gotten out of the way. I waited, not breathing, as she hesitated. â€Å"Um†¦Ã¢â‚¬  he heard her say. Then she paused for so long that Tyler wondered if his question had confused her. Finally, she went on. â€Å"Edward pulled me out of the way.† I exhaled. And then my breathing accelerated. I'd never heard her speak my name before. I like the way it sounded – even just hearing it through Tyler's thoughts. I wanted to hear it for myself†¦ â€Å"Edward Cullen,† she said, when Tyler didn't realize who she meant. I found myself at the door, my hand on the knob. The desire to see her was growing stronger. I had to remind myself of the need for caution. â€Å"He was standing next to me.† â€Å"Cullen?† Huh. That's weird. â€Å"I didn't see him.† I could have sworn†¦ â€Å"Wow, it was all so fast, I guess. Is he okay?† â€Å"I think so. He's here somewhere, but they didn't make him use a stretcher.† I saw the thoughtful look on her face, the suspicious tightening of her eyes, but these little changes in her expression were lost on Tyler. She's pretty, he was thinking, almost in surprise. Even all messed up. Not my usual type, still†¦ I should take her out. Make up for today†¦ I was out in the hall, then, halfway to the emergency room, without thinking for one second about what I was doing. Luckily, the nurse entered the room before I could – it was Bella's turn for X-rays. I leaned against the wall in a dark nook just around the corner, and tried to get a grip on myself while she was wheeled away. It didn't matter that Tyler thought she was pretty. Anyone would notice that. There was no reason for me to feel†¦how did I feel? Annoyed? Or was angry closer to the truth? That made no sense at all. I stayed where I was for as long as I could, but impatience got the best of me and I took a back way around to the radiology room. She'd already been moved back to the ER, but I was able to take a peek at her x-rays while the nurse's back was turned. I felt calmer when I had. Her head was fine. I hadn't hurt her, not really. Carlisle caught me there. You look better, he commented. I just looked straight ahead. We weren't alone, the halls full of orderlies and visitors. Ah, yes. He stuck her x-rays to the lightboard, but I didn't need a second look. I see. She's absolutely fine. Well done, Edward. The sound of my father's approval created a mixed reaction in me. I would have been pleased, except that I knew that he would not approve of what I was going to do now. At least, he would not approve if he knew my real motivations†¦ â€Å"I think I'm going to go talk to her – before she sees you,† I murmured under my breath. â€Å"Act natural, like nothing happened. Smooth it over.† All acceptable reasons. Carlisle nodded absently, still looking over the x-rays. â€Å"Good idea. Hmm.† I looked to see what had his interest. Look at all the healed contusions! How many times did her mother drop her? Carlisle laughed to himself at his joke. â€Å"I'm beginning to think the girl just has really bad luck. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.† Forks is certainly the wrong place for her, with you here. I flinched. Go ahead. Smooth things over. I'll join you momentarily. I walked away quickly, feeling guilty. Perhaps I was too good a liar, if I could fool Carlisle. When I got to the ER, Tyler was mumbling under his breath, still apologizing. The girl was trying to escape his remorse by pretending to sleep. Her eyes were closed, but her breathing was not even, and now and then her fingers would twitch impatiently. I stared at her face for a long moment. This was the last time I would see her. That fact triggered an acute aching in my chest. Was it because I hated to leave any puzzle unsolved? That did not seem like enough of an explanation. Finally, I took a deep breath and moved into view. When Tyler saw me, he started to speak, but I put one finger to my lips. â€Å"Is she sleeping?† I murmured. Bella's eyes snapped open and focused on my face. They widened momentarily, and then narrowed in anger or suspicion. I remembered that I had a role to play, so I smiled at her as if nothing unusual had happened this morning – besides a blow to her head and a bit of imagination run wild. â€Å"Hey, Edward,† Tyler said. â€Å"I'm really sorry – â€Å" I raised one hand to halt his apology. â€Å"No blood, no foul,† I said wryly. Without thinking, I smiled too widely at my private joke. It was amazingly easy to ignore Tyler, lying no more than four feet from me, covered in fresh blood. I'd never understood how Carlisle was able to do that – ignore the blood of his patients in order to treat them. Wouldn't the constant temptation be so distracting, so dangerous†¦? But, now†¦ I could see how, if you were focusing on something else hard enough, the temptation was be nothing at all. Even fresh and exposed, Tyler's blood had nothing on Bella's. I kept my distance from her, seating myself on the foot of Tyler's mattress. â€Å"So, what's the verdict?† I asked her. Her lower lip pushed out a little. â€Å"There's nothing wrong with me at all, but they won't let me go. How come you aren't strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?† Her impatience made me smile again. I could hear Carlisle in the hall now. â€Å"It's all about who you know,† I said lightly. â€Å"But don't worry, I came to spring you.† I watched her reaction carefully as my father entered the room. Her eyes widened and her mouth actually fell open in surprise. I groaned internally. Yes, she'd certainly noticed the resemblance. â€Å"So, Miss Swan, how are you feeling?† Carlisle asked. He had a wonderfully soothing beside manner that put most patients at ease within moments. I couldn't tell how it affected Bella. â€Å"I'm fine,† she said quietly. Carlisle clipped her X-rays to the lightboard by the bed. â€Å"Your X-rays look good. Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard.† She sighed, and said, â€Å"I'm fine,† again, but this time impatience leaked into her voice. Then she glowered once in my direction. Carlisle stepped closer to her and ran his fingers gently over her scalp until he found the bump under her hair. I was caught off guard by the wave of emotion that crashed over me. I had seen Carlisle work with humans a thousand times. Years ago, I had even assisted him informally – though only in situations where blood was not involved. So it wasn't a new thing to me, to watch him interact with the girl as if he were as human as she was. I'd envied his control many times, but that was not the same as this emotion. I envied him more than his control. I ached for the difference between Carlisle and me – that he could touch her so gently, without fear, knowing he would never harm her†¦ She winced, and I twitched in my seat. I had to concentrate for a moment to keep my relaxed posture. â€Å"Tender?† Carlisle asked. Her chin jerked up a fraction. â€Å"Not really,† she said. Another small piece of her character fell into place: she was brave. She didn't like to show weakness. Possibly the most vulnerable creature I'd ever seen, and she didn't want to seem weak. A chuckle slid through my lips. She shot another glare at me. â€Å"Well,† Carlisle said. â€Å"Your father is in the waiting room – you can go home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all.† Her father was here? I swept through the thoughts in the crowded waiting room, but I couldn't pick his subtle mental voice out of the group before she was speaking again, her face anxious. â€Å"Can't I go back to school?† â€Å"Maybe you should take it easy today,† Carlisle suggested. Her eyes flickered back to me. â€Å"Does he get to go to school?† Act normal, smooth things over†¦ignore the way it feels when she looks me in the eye†¦ â€Å"Someone has to spread the good news that we survived,† I said. â€Å"Actually,† Carlisle corrected, â€Å"most of the school seems to be in the waiting room.† I anticipated her reaction this time – her aversion to attention. She didn't disappoint. â€Å"Oh no,† she moaned, and she put her hands over her face. I liked that I'd finally guessed right. I was beginning to understand her†¦ â€Å"Do you want to stay?† Carlisle asked. â€Å"No, no!† she said quickly, swinging her legs over the side of the mattress and sliding down till her feet were on the floor. She stumbled forward, off-balance, into Carlisle's arms. He caught and steadied her. Again, the envy flooded through me. â€Å"I'm fine,† she said before he could comment, faint pink in her cheeks. Of course, that wouldn't bother Carlisle. He made sure she was balanced, and then dropped his hands. â€Å"Take some Tylenol for the pain,† he instructed. â€Å"It doesn't hurt that bad.† Carlisle smiled as he signed her chart. â€Å"It sounds like you were extremely lucky.† She turned her face slightly, to stare at me with hard eyes. â€Å"Lucky Edward happened to be standing next to me.† â€Å"Oh, well, yes,† Carlisle agreed quickly, hearing the same thing in her voice that I heard. She hadn't written her suspicions off as imagination. Not yet. All yours, Carlisle thought. Handle it as you think best. â€Å"Thanks so much,† I whispered, quick and quiet. Neither human heard me. Carlisle's lips turned up a tiny bit at my sarcasm as he turned to Tyler. â€Å"I'm afraid that you'll have to stay with us just a little bit longer,† he said as he began examining the slashes left by the shattered windshield. Well, I'd made the mess, so it was only fair that I had to deal with it. Bella walked deliberately toward me, not stopping until she was uncomfortably close. I remembered how I had hoped, before all the mayhem, that she would approach me†¦ This was like a mockery of that wish. â€Å"Can I talk to you for a minute?† she hissed at me. Her warm breath brushed my face and I had to stagger back a step. Her appeal had not abated one bit. Every time she was near me, it triggered all my worst, most urgent instincts. Venom flowed in my mouth and my body yearned to strike – to wrench her into my arms and crush her throat to my teeth. My mind was stronger than my body, but only just. â€Å"Your father is waiting for you,† I reminded her, my jaw clenched tight. She glanced toward Carlisle and Tyler. Tyler was paying us no attention at all, but Carlisle was monitoring my every breath. Carefully, Edward. â€Å"I'd like to speak to you alone, if you don't mind,† she insisted in a low voice. I wanted to tell her that I did mind very much, but I knew I would have to do this eventually. I may as well get on with it. I was full of so many conflicting emotions as I stalked out of the room, listening to her stumbling footsteps behind me, trying to keep up. I had a show to put on now. I knew the role I would play – I had the character down: I would be the villain. I would lie and ridicule and be cruel. It went against all my better impulses – the human impulses that I'd clung to through all these years. I'd never wanted to deserve trust more than in this moment, when I had to destroy all possibility of it. It made it worse to know that this would be the last memory she would have of me. This was my farewell scene. I turned on her. â€Å"What do you want?† I asked coldly. She cringed back slightly from my hostility. Her eyes turned bewildered, the expression that had haunted me†¦ â€Å"You owe me an explanation,† she said in a small voice; her ivory face blanched. It was very hard to keep my voice harsh. â€Å"I saved your life – I don't owe you anything.† She flinched – it burned like acid to watch my words hurt her. â€Å"You promised,† she whispered. â€Å"Bella, you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about.† Her chin came up then. â€Å"There's nothing wrong with my head.† She was angry now, and that made it easier for me. I met her glare, making my face more unfriendly. â€Å"What do you want from me, Bella?† â€Å"I want to know the truth. I want to know why I'm lying for you.† What she wanted was only fair – it frustrated me to have to deny her. â€Å"What do you think happened?† I nearly growled at her. Her words poured out in a torrent. â€Å"All I know is that you weren't anywhere near me – Tyler didn't see you, either, so don't tell me I hit my head too hard. That van was going to crush us both – and it didn't, and your hands left dents in the side of it – and you left a dent in the other car, and you're not hurt at all – and the van should have smashed my legs, but you were holding it up†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Suddenly, she clenched her teeth together and her eyes were glistening with unshed tears. I stared at her, my expression derisive, though what I really felt was awe; she had seen everything. â€Å"You think I lifted a van off you?† I asked sarcastically. She answered with one stiff nod. My voice grew more mocking. â€Å"Nobody will believe that, you know.† She made an effort to control her anger. When she answered me, she spoke each word with slow deliberation. â€Å"I'm not going to tell anybody.† She meant it – I could see that in her eyes. Even furious and betrayed, she would keep my secret. Why? The shock of it ruined my carefully designed expression for half a second, and then I pulled myself together. â€Å"Then why does it matter?† I asked, working to keep my voice severe. â€Å"It matters to me,† she said intensely. â€Å"I don't like to lie – so there'd better be a good reason why I'm doing it.† She was asking me to trust her. Just as I wanted her to trust me. But this was a line I could not cross. My voice stayed callous. â€Å"Can't you just thank me and get it over with?† â€Å"Thank you,† she said, and then she fumed silently, waiting. â€Å"You're not going to let it go, are you?† â€Å"No.† â€Å"In that case†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I couldn't tell her the truth if I wanted to†¦and I didn't want to. I'd rather she made up her own story than know what I was, because nothing could be worse than the truth – I was a living nightmare, straight from the pages of a horror novel. â€Å"I hope you enjoy disappointment.† We scowled at each other. It was odd how endearing her anger was. Like a furious kitten, soft and harmless, and so unaware of her own vulnerability. She flushed pink and ground her teeth together again. â€Å"Why did you even bother?† Her question wasn't one that I was expecting or prepared to answer. I lost my hold on the role I was playing. I felt the mask slip from my face, and I told her – this one time – the truth. â€Å"I don't know.† I memorized her face one last time – it was still set in lines of anger, the blood not yet faded from her cheeks – and then I turned and walked away from her.

The Global Financial Crisis Shook - 1822 Words

The 2008 - 2010 global financial crisis shook almost all the developed economies of the world. Different countries reacted to this phenomenon by adopting a myriad of fiscal and monetary policies with a view to combat the aftermaths of the crisis and to give their economies a boost (Alesina Ardagna 2010, p. 40). The UK is no exception either. The British government implemented an ‘Austerity’ economic policy in 2010 to battle the effects of this financial downturn. As a result, the main purpose of this paper is to analyse whether the adoption of such a measure has been fruitful for the UK or not. It will look at both economic and social measures during the period of this policy to evaluate the effectiveness of the austerity policy.†¦show more content†¦In this regard, Alesina et al. (2015) conducted a study on several European countries by constructing a thorough and descriptive data set that documented the actual composition and size of the fiscal policies imple mented by the chosen countries from 2009 to 2013 (p. 30). And they found that the adoption of austerity actually worsened the economic conditions of these countries. Another research conducted by Paganetto Scandizzo (2013) that there is no proof to suggest that the implementation of austerity would enhance development. The authors further argued that there is a very little evidence that austerity might support endogenous growth (p. 256). Blyth (2013) also denied the idea of undertaking austerity by providing real life examples of Spain, Greece, Italy, Ireland, and Portugal. He showed how these nations’ net debt to GDP worsened over the years due to the implementation of strict austerity. According to the author, austerity actually brings about the very consequences that countries implementing these policies try to avoid (p. 20). Guajardo, Leigh Pescatori (2014) also supported this notion in their study by demonstrating that austerity policies have negative effects on both t he GDP and private domestic demands of a country (p. 950). Therefore, studies from all over the world have one opinion in common austerity, that is, even though austerity might be a good choice during theShow MoreRelatedShadow Banking1034 Words   |  5 PagesShadow Banking System and its role in the global financial crisis What is shadow banking system Shadow Banking System (SBS) refers to a collection of financial entities, infrastructures and practices which support financial transactions but beyond the regulation and monitor from the government or official regulators. 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